Chapter 4: Conversations behind close doors
Rating: M (for later chapters)
Genre: Angst/ Romance
Short summary: Edward leaves... so do the rest of the Cullens, however one can't stop thinking about the one they left behind. He returns finding a broken girl, instead of Bella and he decides it's up to him to make her better. But how does he do that? and will Emmett start to realise he is falling in love with the lamb.
Any warnings: Twilight, New moon.
Pairings: Emmett/Bella, Bella/Edward, Jacob/Bella
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.
p.s looking for a betta, anyone interested let me know :)
Title: Quiet Guardian
Chapter 4: Conversations behind close doors
Bella shifted and rolled over, her face, nose …lips pressed against my cheek. I took in a deep breath; not afraid I would sink my teeth into her soft, warm skin… no I was well past that now, currently and lately I had been finding myself, more interested in kissing Bella then killing her and truth be told this scared me more then anything I had to deal with before.
I rolled over so my lips were only millimetres in front of hers and my eyes; if she were to open them would be staring right at hers. Some part of me wished she would wake, so we could share this intimate moment together, however I knew deep down, Bella would just turn away embarrassed, that her sleeping movements had put her in such a situation, that she would believe make me uncomfortable. Oh how she was wrong.
My hands were left unoccupied by my side, and at the moment I felt they needed to be holding something, it wasn’t my fault Bella was the closet thing to hold… was it? Usually my idle hands had become very bad indeed, like last night at dinner when they had touched lightly with Bella’s, she had merely blushed and shrugged it off… and I had to fight back the fact that if I was human I would be blushing if not more too. I had been so lost in my thoughts, that I hadn’t realised my hands had become impatient and had already wrapped themselves around Bella, usually I would be mad about losing my control around Bella, however right now all I could do was smile and let my nose brush lightly against Bella’s.
My occupied hands had begun to cause just as much, if not more trouble then my idle hands had. These hands of mine had a mind of their own, and they often liked to ignore my more sensible thoughts and act out my deepest desires, and lately they had been quite busy acting on those desirable needs of mine. I looked down and noticed my hands not longer encircled Bella, but had started to drift towards Bella’s exposed thigh…. STOP!!!! My thoughts ripped through my head and I had to look down and see that Bella was still sleeping, making sure I really didn’t yell it out loud. I breathed out a sigh of relief and decided now was the best time to think of something, anything that didn’t revolve around Bella, ‘good luck…shut up’ I growled at my own negative thoughts, this was definitely not what I needed now.
School, yes that was a good start, well not really considering school does revolve around Bella, all my classes are with her and I sit with her and her friends at lunch. One thing that had come to surprise was that the group of humans that Bella sat with now welcomed me with open arms…. Ok maybe they weren’t that welcoming, but at least they would converse with me and I even had one ask me out. Human’s funny creatures indeed. Although they hadn’t been so friendly when I had first arrived, I’m just glad all that tension is gone. However there was another thing that had surprised me the most… Jacob. I had of course been put off when Bella had invited the boy over; when clearly he was in love with her, however after getting to really no him, although I hated to say it… he wasn’t such a bad guy.
Bella moved and now her mouth was so close to mine, that I could feel her breath against my face, oh how sweet it seemed, My hand slipped free and I watched as my finger traced a line down Bella’s face, finally resting on her lips I took a deep breath and … jumped away, landing silently on the floor.
I started pacing back and forth, what was I doing? I let my hand slide down across my face… you IDIOT how could you let yourself get to this point, you CAN’T kiss Bella you just can’t. Did you even think of the consequence, what if you lost controlled and killed her… you’re stronger then Edward and that brings me to reason 2 EDWARD! As my thoughts started to work out wrong and right, I found my eyes being drawn back to watch Bella’s sleeping form. And that’s when I knew, here I was meant to be her guardian… her quiet guardian and I was doing nothing but cause more trouble. I put my head down, that was definitely something I didn’t want for Bella, so…..
That night I decided tomorrow night, I was staying awake alone in my bedroom.
Next morning I left earlier to go hunt, although I would be lying if I said I had been hungry, by the time I arrived back, Bella was already up and eating her breakfast, next to Charlie.
“So where is that boy?”
“Right here, went out to get a quick breakfast,” I said walking into the kitchen, startling Bella.
“Well good morning then Emmett, Ok well you kids have fun today, wasn’t Jake coming up?” I nodded confirming the boy’s plan of coming over later, “Ok well I’ll be home late tonight, cya kids,” Charlie then walked out, leaving Bella and I ; and if I was right are very pissed off Bella, once again alone.
“Why weren’t you there when I woke up this morning?” Bella snapped at me as she turned her head to face mine.
“I went to hunt Bella, you know so I can focus on not killing you,” I said sternly.
“Oh please don’t feed me that bullshit, both you and I know you have that side under control, what’s up with you lately… you’ve been acting all different,” She continued to try and stare me down, I opened my mouth to try to find any other words to say, other then it’s because I love you.
But I couldn’t.
“It’s because I love you.” Oh crap I said it, no turning back now, come on react … say something Bella. But all that answers back is silence … and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I am in pain.
“Hey guys… whoa are you guys having a fight or something?”
Great timing Jacob.
“No,” I hear Bella shout, causing Jake to look even more confuse, as I continued not to be my normal happy self around him.
“I feel kinda sick, I’m going to skip the hike, But hey don’t let me keep you from going?”
Jacob looked up at me confused, “Are you sure, I mean Bella and I could stay behind…”
“NO,” Bella’s raised voice cause another sharp jolt of pain to shoot through me, “You were so exited Jake, it’s ok I’ll go with you beside Emmett said he doesn’t mine, And I need some fresh air.”
I was a vampire and still I felt every word she said was like daggers digging deep into my skin. I didn’t know how any human could take such pain, when I felt like I was slowing dying.
“Well if you’re sure,” Jake turned to exit, as he saw me smile weakly and nod in approval.
“Wait Jake,” Both Jake and Bella snapped around.
“Please look after her,” I saw Jake smile and Bella turn away.
Good I was making it hard on her; she needed to know how it felt… how I felt.
“Don’t worry she is in good hands.” And with that I watched my best friend walk out, with the girl who had captured … everything that was left of me.
What had I done?
And what was I going to do?
I was lying, on my unused bed, when I heard Jacob and Bella arrive… I didn’t have to move an inch to hear what they were saying. Sometimes I love being a vampire.
“Look Bella I’m sorry... I didn’t mean…”
“It’s ok, really it’s fine.”
Wait… what had happened?
“It’s just that I thought, well you kinda liked me,”
“It’s not that I don’t like you Jake, it’s just I’m just not ready for a relationship again, you understand.”
“Yeah of course,” Maybe it was just my vampire ears, but he didn’t sound too convinced, “well I’ll see you and … if his feeling better Emmett tomorrow, tell him to get better. Bye Bella.”
There was a slight pause, awkward shifting of feet and a sloppy kiss on the cheek, before he left and I heard Bella make her way up the stairs.
I felt my breathing begin to get heavier, as I heard her approach my door, I held my breath as I listen to her frantic heart beat, and her fingers brush lightly against my close door. Knowing she is standing out there, maybe thinking over what I said, was killing me. I knew I had every power in mean to just walk over and rip open the door and pinned Bella against my wall and kiss her.
I pulled my pillow of my face and screamed into it, GOD did she realise she was tearing me apart.
I looked over at my bedroom door, it was creating the only boundary between me and her, and I realised it was a symbol, it represented how there was this line, that shouldn’t be crossed no matter what, the line was drawn by, regret, love and Edward. But I felt my body get up and move towards the door, and I realised I wasn’t afraid to be crossing that line now, not when it meant being closer to her.
I pressed my forehead against the door’s soft pine, and I listened as Bella did too. She pressed her right arm against the door and let mine follow, the door was like a piece of glass for me, every movement I could hear clearly, therefore I was able to see everything she was doing. Bella’s mouth opened, and mine closed… was she going to speak… no she closed it and I let my right hand fall, as hers fell to clench tightly beside her side.
Bella looked up staring right through the door at me, I let my eyes stare right back, it seemed so unfair that I could see her and she couldn’t see me… but she hadn’t been playing fair either.
It was her time to follow me, as I let both my hands slam against the door, she hadn’t jumped like I had expected, but mealy followed placing her hands firming over mine and the door. I moved my forehead back to rest on the door, I listened as she placed hers back just under mine… she let out a deep breath as I did.
Then there is hope.
“I didn’t plan this…”
No one talks… but her hands move down and mine follow… as I realise, she is beginning to ache, well at least I think she is.
Her voice chokes; on my name as I here her sobs disguised her usual strong, confident voice.
“I’ll try to say this right, because I’ve been planning it all day… just let me finish ok?” She manages to sob out a sentence. She isn’t crying, but I can hear her struggling to hold back her tears.
“You have to understand… that I’m struggling to piece this together. One thing I know for sure is… that I still love Edward, when I know I shouldn’t… but I can’t help it, just like I can’t help that I fell in love with you.”
I feel my body, buckle against the door… she loves me.
“But it just feels so wrong,” Wait no it shouldn’t feel wrong… it should feel so right… like it does when I’m with you; although I want to interrupt I stay quiet just like Bella said.
“…However every time, minute I find myself spending with you makes me feel less confused by all this… and more right… Emmett, I know you can understand… what I’m trying to say.”
I breathe out, as she does, “What is that.”
“That we can’t be together.”
I back away from the door, and I hold back the scream, I so desperately want to release. And that’s when I realised nothing else matters and I allow my body to walk over to my door and open it. Breathing heavily I stare down at Bella; tear streaked, with her light massacre smudged underneath her eyes, she was ever so beautiful. I let my hand move, almost swallowing Bella’s head, as I swept it lightly over her cheek. I let my hand stay there, as I inched my body closer to her shaky body.
I watched as Bella said nothing, mealy frozen staring directly into my eyes, however as her mouth fell open, probably to excuse herself, from our current position. I found my finger rest lightly of her soft lips; silencing her, because I was quite enjoying our current position.
“Now Bella, I’m going to kiss you.”
Bella said nothing in reply accept pull my hand away from her mouth, I allowed it to fall back to her waist. My right hand still caressing her tear streaked cheek, carefully began to bring her face towards mine, as I found myself bending down to reach Bella’s mouth.
Is all I can use to describe how I felt when our lips first met.
I allowed my lips to begin to slowly move against hers, and to my great surprise I felt hers move with my own. I knew I had to be careful not to let my teeth cut her, but with Bella in my arms I tended to get distracted.
Soon I was pretty sure, Bella wanted to do more then kiss, as she slipped her hands underneath my shirt. I gently pulled away, “Bella I thought… what about what you said?”
Bella smiled up at me, “It doesn’t matter, because you kissed me and nothing else matters anymore… well at this present time.”
“Exactly, I don’t want you do something you will regret later.”
Bella started to walk towards me head shaking, “Emmett, I was just holding onto something… I knew I should have let go awhile ago, and you helped me with that. Can’t I show you how much I appreciate you for everything you’ve done?”
“But Bella, that isn’t what I want from you. I want everything and if it’s possible one day I want to be you’re everything.”
“You will have to get use to my obsession with Wuthering heights and Shakespeare.”
I laughed; it seemed so weird laughing, after I hadn’t done it for awhile now.
“I think I can handle that, I guess its just part of the consequences for falling in love with a lamb.”
The front door swung open, I guess I had been so distracted with Bella I hadn’t heard Charlie’s car pull up.
“Ah I decided to get pizza… I hope you like pepperoni Emmett.”
I found myself smiling along with Bella, as we began to make our way done stairs and I felt her hand encircle mine.
“It’s my favourite.”
Hi it’s Katie, so sorry for this long wait. So much was happening in my life, I just didn’t have time to write or even post. But thanks all who waited love you all. Remember comment :D:D
LOOKING FOR A BETTA (anyone interested?)